Dear your name here....
It's been a long time, very long time
Since I've heard your voice
And I bet she never thought I was
So sorry so?
I've had a hard time, very hard time
Seeing less of you
I never thought you knew
So can you see you're seeing less of me darling
And you're blind to the fact that my
Heart stopped beating
And I'm as good as dead
Dear I forgot your name again...
Just picking up where I left off
(Oh yeah) This is the part where you leave me
So sorry so?
I've had a hard time, very hard time
Seeing less of you
I never thought you knew
So can you see
You're seeing less of me darling
And you're blind to the fact that my
Heart stopped beating
And I'm as good as dead
This is all I have to say

I hate uncertainty.
I like knowing what I'm going to do, when I'm going to be doing it because this could potentially affect my life.
I hate annoying estate agents. They don't know what they're doing to me.
It may seem melodramatic. I don't care. I feel like I'm losing my mind!
I like knowing I have a job and that I will be able to afford to live comfortably but I hate the rules and regulations that come with having a job.
I hate my neighbours, I don't know why they enjoy making other people's lives hell.
I swear when we move out, I'm gonna post a steaming cat shit through their letter box with a bow and a note attached saying, "We've moved out, screw you."

As we are going to see New Found Glory tonight, I thought it only right to find a poignant lyric from them.

*What will you do
when there's no one to fall back on?
I won't be there
I've learned my lesson
What will you do when there's no friends to fall back on?
Because they've all been stepped on*

I am cranky is because I have had to take 90 fucking calls today. Apparantly I am a well respected member of staff. Apparantly not! I am so pissed off!

And once again, the doctor has told me I have high blood pressure. This is not good, I am 22 years old! i ashouldn't let things and annoying cretins piss me off but they do!

I am going to stop giving a shit because no one else does!

Don't lie to me, I have a brain and can figure things out you know. It also helps that I seem to have sixth sense about these things.

Don't try and make me argue with other people, when I find out the truth it just makes you look stupid. And then I lose even more respect for you.

Don't lie that you're not bothered when it is blatantly obvious you are. You're only lying to yourself.

You seem to be a glutton for punishment. I don't get it.

I spent £100 on clothes yesterday.

Now I feel guilty. It felt good at the time, now I want to cry.

I spent £40 on a cardigan, yes a cardigan. But then I made myself feel slightly better by finding a bargain in Primark, £5 cardigan get in! And... and.... I got some pj's with cherries on from Primark for £4! Score!

I also bought a hair clip from Oasis for £9, yes £9. No, I can't really justify it. It makes me feel sick to think I spent that much on a clip. Barf. But it is pretty. So...... squeeeeeeee!

I have decided I want a red leather bag. Is that a bit Grandma-y? Hmmmmm. I also want some red shiny shoes, like Red Riding Hood. Ha ha.

I feel bad that I have spent so much on clothes when I will probably just wear them for a few months then end up giving them to a charity shop. And someone will get a really pretty jumper for like 50p.... and I will cry :(

Wednesday brings cushion and throw buying for our new sofa. I don't wanna have to spend money on cushions, that's boring! I wanna buy some more jumpers and some more hair clips, yay! Why am I so materialistic?! But still.... squuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

xXx

Aaaaah it's a happy day today. Nothing in particular has made me feel like this, however, I find this a good thing. We don't need anything, or more precisely, we shouldn't need anything to make us happy. Apart from the usual of course, friends, family, boyfriends, money, a pink car, shoes and cake to name a few!

Anyway, as you can see I am quite delirious at the moment. I am enjoying mocking this boy at work, he mocks me back but it's all just a laugh. Is it normal to enjoy being mean to people sometimes?

On another note, my Landlord is being an absolute LOSER! I think I may actually add her to my hit list (at the moment contains Mark from work, this other guy from this place and some blonde skinny bint). She is just so rude and is proper messing us about. She asked if we wanted to buy the house, we said yes if it was for the right price, obviously with us already ther makes it a lot easier for her too. I told her we had a budget we couldn't go over and ever since she has been an absolute retard. We're thinking of just sacking it off altogether and buying a mobile home or a caravan. Seriously. It would be fun and we would get to live surrended by Grannies!

Does anyone read this thing? It's quite boring really!

I'm out next Tuesday by the way, make a note in your diaries!

I am beginning to learn to take things some people say with a large pinch of salt as well. I am pleased about this as it was bothering me, making me feel bad about stuff but not anymore.

Note to friends: Hello! And I love you. And send me a message or something as I'm not sure this thing works properly. And errr.... do u like my page? I'm gonna go now as I am at work and should be working.
xXx

I have broken my shoulder! Or so it seems anyway! It really hurts! I think it may have been the lifting of a ten tonne fridge on Friday night that has done it. Coupled with the fact that I slept like shit last night so really bodes well for a Sunday at work! I look like a hunchback cos I can't sit up straight! Argh!

My brother has been round today, I hadn't seen him for like months. Well it seemed that way anyway. He's 16 in 2 months. I really can't believe it. It freaks me out that he will be old enough to have sex, buy cigarettes etc. And to think how grown up I thought I was when I was 16. Looking back, I was an immature kid. Not ready to have sex. I think my brother is sensible anyway, at least i hope he is.

He's talking about going clubbing in Ibiza, which scares the shit out of me. I know how scary the streets of Ibiza are at night, especially in the old city where some of the big clubs are. It's like being in Moss side at night x 20.

Anyway, apart from that it was a good day. He is an ace kid :D I'm glad I have a sibling that I don't hate.

Work tomorrow, although I swear I'm coming down with something. At the moment I wanna punch my manager in the head.

xXx

Ok ok so the reason I have decided to get this thingy is because I am feeling a bit shit about the friends area of my life.

I'm sorry if I can't be around all the time, it's pretty hard having time to fit everything and everyone in but I thought the whole point of having friends, true friends, is that you may not see them for a while and if your lives are heading in different directions, then you are still there for each other.

It seems I'm the only one in a relationship at the moment, and it's not a case of trying to rub it in anyone's face. It's by chance I have settled down this early. But please don't shut me out for it. I understand you may be loving your freedom or not so much, but I am here, waiting to be someone's friend.

I found a soulmate in a friend a few years back. She lives 60 miles away and I may not see her for a while but I know that she will always be there for me and I will always be there for her no matter what. No matter who comes between us, who comes and goes in the meantime, boys, girls, anyone. It just really doesn't matter. I love her unconditionally.

I may be harsh/ a little mean sometimes but that's me and my friends should accept me for me the same way I do for them. I have one friend at the moment who is really understanding and I enjoy spending time with her. I am finally feeling like someone understands me. I want her to know that I will be there for her no matter what too, she can ring me when she feels shitty, I will be there in 2 seconds if she is upset, I will hug her when she cries. Because I know she would do the same in return. So thank you, for making me feel like I do have a friend. I think you know who you are xXx